Eating on holiday: city break edition

How to eat well on hols if you don't have an Erin. Plus my three top city break food memories

Erin said she wanted to be in the Substack after our trip to Berlin last month and given that she did all the legwork - not only getting us there but also finding the hotel and 99% of what we ate - she very much deserves to be in the Substack.

Hi, Erin!

I guess this is where I put the paywall up for those who want to find out what happened when we visited the spa…

But first: say you don’t have an Erin but do want to go on holiday and eat well (not a given; it’s so easy to be disappointed by holiday food and not only because of high expectations but because it’s often gross), I have some great steers.

I am assuming that none of you wish to end up like poor Susan Edwards, a 69-year-old British woman who recently sued travel company TUI after her all-inclusive in Corfu turned out to serve Greek food rather than the English cuisine she desired on her foreign holiday. TUI has given Susan £100 off her next holiday.

1. My first advice for any city break is not to go in a large group. That’s like doing Glasto with a massive crew (good) but trying to see everything together (characterised by other people’s needs and punctuated by toilet queues). I’ve done this.

Having a huge crew is great fun but expecting everyone to do everything together is not.

The only time I do cities in groups is on work trips, but everything is arranged for you so while the schedules are usually really busy, some lovely PR has done ALL the work for you and the only thing you have to stress about is whether you really can drink 11 Negronis and eat 46 courses in a single day and how to stage manage the seating arrangements to suit your own desires.

I am spoiled with wonderful work trips but I’ll be honest - someone really does have to put the hours in if you want to eat exceptionally well at just the right moment in a convenient location for a reasonable price.

‘Work’ catering

2. So another tip is: don’t expect all of the above.

Side note: Usually when you go on a press trip other people on the press trip will wrinkle their nose and say they never go on press trips, which is strange given that they’re there.

This might be code for: “I pay for this shit myself.” (maybe your passive income or your partner does, darling, but your freelance writing wage has not brought you to Maido/Mirazur/Sezanne. Or it might be a way of saying: “My publication pays its own way.” (Puhhhlease. Wrong century.) Or it might even mean: “I am so special that a trip for just me and my BFF is usually conceived so we don’t have to talk to the masses BUT on this one, single and entirely unique occasion I have deigned to come with the masses because ‘One couldn’t turn [lovely trip that you’re all on] down, could one?’”

3. Bijou crew in tow, work out your audience. If they are not food-obsessed, or even really interested in food, they do not want to spend a morning jostling on a steaming pavement for a slice of the ‘world’s best’ pizza.

Therefore don’t bore them to death by insisting that every meal or mouthful has to be an event.

Chungking Noodles on Reichenberger Strasse was a 15-ish minute walk from our hotel (the Michelberger, will return!). Lovely way to explore the area on the first evening.

4. But even if they’re not that into food, you can be helpful by suggesting places that look interesting and in the right price bracket. There are plenty of people who wouldn’t take the time to do lots of food & drink related research, but are so grateful when someone else guides them to delicious spots.
   

5. If you don’t have your own Erin, take a shortcut. Before your trip, follow a few local influencers wherever you suck up your social media. Find one or two you enjoy and mark some of their recommendations.

Also: check out where your favourite homegrown food people have been to/investigate their city food maps, and look up 24 Hrs in/48 Hrs in travel features for your destination to find your feet (hopefully you won’t, like Joey did in London, have to actually get in the map, but I’ve been very close.)

6. The next step is to link up where you’re staying with the cafés, bars and restaurants you like the look of, then key these into any big tourist attractions or neighbourhoods you plan to visit. Ask your group if they’d like to orient the day around lunch/dinner/drinks/exquisite patisserie in a particular area, and you’re all set. I don’t go to cities to tick things off a list but to enjoy the place and see and try new things. So you can always say you’d love to shop on such a street (in Berlin we went to a big flea market) then go to a nearby café and see if everyone is game (we hit a street food market for all the classic German eats: doners, gozleme, souvlaki, curry chips…large beers).
   

7. Sometimes I’ll go to a city to visit a specific restaurant, but if travelling with friends it’s unlikely the whole group want to spend every last penny they have on eating out. Cities are the best places ever for street food and fast casual dining, as well as being the best places ever for gruesome menus and outrageous prices. So, my number one tip if you’re not going haute is to look for hi-lo dining options.
   

8. It’s unusual (IMHO very unwise) to go on city breaks with people with wildly different hopes for the trip to your own - but do gauge interest in food and budgets before you go. Ask if they want to go to a bakery or such an ice cream or kebab or starred place etc, then you’ll know.
   

9. If you absolutely have to do a city with a teenager, at least make sure it’s your own.
   

10. If your mates are game, try a food tour. Easiest and best value way to get a great sense of the best cafés, bars, shops and markets.
    

11. A note on coffee: if a city is bad for coffee, you can waste a morning walking around looking for one. Research first or leave it.

My three formative city break eating moments

Many of my most memorable eating moments occurred on holiday when I was growing up — these are the years when your hunger and palate is on a perma discovery mission.

I’ve since had many more wonderful or impressive eating experiences, but I’ve chosen these three as breakthrough moments rather than best ever.

Unsurprisingly, not many of our family holidays were city breaks and most of my memories took place elsewhere, but there were a few…

Bear with, hopefully this is better than being asked to look at someone’s holiday snaps (in person).

LONDON
Smollensky’s Balloon, Dover Street, late 1980s

Maybe this was the experience that began my love affair with restaurants. Certainly, when we talk about privilege, trips to London from The Sticks (Stockport) undoubtedly made me familiar with the place and confident enough to move there as soon as I possibly could (after my undergrad).

My Dad sometimes went to a London conference during the October half-term holiday and for a few years I went along with my Mum and two older sisters. I’ll never forget the impossible glamour of walking into the Gloucester Hotel circa 1987, which felt like a palace constructed from peachy-toned marble.

One evening, we carried in KFC that my Mum insisted on hiding in giant paper bags. We weren’t allowed KFC at home and for some reason I didn’t eat it again until a few years ago. (In a service station. Yes, I have eaten other fried chicken).

Another night, friends who had moved ‘down South’ took us to Smollensky’s Balloon. Imagine a kind of prototype TGI Fridays before it got all mega then combusted and you’re close. It was American-style food: burgers, steaks, shakes. Lots of things were crumbed and deep-fried. Finding out now that it was on Dover Street makes me feel a hundred times more chic.

I am also thrilled to discover that The Independent, the publication I worked for throughout my twenties, reviewed it in 1994 as “one of the most civilised experiences you can have with a child.”

FLORENCE
A pasta restaurant with a view of il Duomo, early 90s

It’s very likely we were eating somewhere incredibly touristy that I’d be warned off (or warn you off) today, but I remember so well a dish of small twists of pasta with fresh cherry tomatoes and mint.

Mint was not something you paired with tomatoes in the UK! It was either chopped vey finely and added to vinegar or made into a jelly for the lamb, or transmuted into an essence to become a bright green ice cream.

We didn’t eat fresh tomatoes with pasta! The pasta required a saucy sauce. But here were tiny burstingly fresh tomatoes, warmed through by the pasta and perhaps the char of a pan, brought to life even further with the zingy herbs.

This was an a-ha mouthful in flavour terms, revealing that I had not even scratched the surface of the combinations that I knew about, much less tasted.

That whole holiday brought so many firsts for me, food-wise, from platters of prosciutto and gorgeous orange melon to gelato for days.

A much more recent trip to Florence, with many more plates of pasta under my belt/dress (June 2024 with Stanley Tucci)

PARIS
McDo’s, 1999
In Paris, before the advent of the Euro, a coffee cost around six francs at McDonald’s and between 12 and 20 elsewhere. As I had to survive three weeks of really cold January there on a shoestring budget, this is where I got my coffee and tea every day, saving the rest of my centimes for more exciting jaunts out. Sometimes, limitations can really help you to see what is that you want, and what you plan to come back for.

My final tip

Don’t go to restaurants with people who don’t like restaurants. I mean, this is general life advice, but comes into sharper focus on a holiday, especially if you’re in a hotel. I think it’s really important to discover and respect each others’ budgets, but don’t let picky eaters inhibit your experience. If you’re in a large enough group, split up to get what you all need. There’s literally nothing less life affirming or toxic holiday vibes than your friend’s husband ordering a and then proclaiming “I could have made this at home for a tenth of the price.”

FFS.

Bon voyage XXX